Diddy Rox Hardcore

Venting

2012-02-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

I would like to know where I went wrong in life. So i went to a 2 year college...not a 4 year college...big deal. i Graduated with honors, top in my field. What is wrong with that? 4 year college is not for everyone.

For where I live, my job is pretty damn good I think. I work full time. 40+ hrs a week..making pretty decent money for around here. We own our house free an clear...thats right...NO HOUSE PAYMENT... I took on a 2nd job as a scentsy consultant...Im not doing too bad at that either. Pretty soon i am going to own my own business too. See anything wrong so far?

I'm not sure but I think I'm doing a pretty good job raising a gorgeous little boy. Hes completely healthy, and VERY happy. Hes always smiles, eats good, never deprived. Again..where am I going wrong?

I also coupon to help my family with expenses. I buy whatever i can get a good deal on...when i can get a good deal. And guess what...if im in a pinch I just gotta go to our back room and pull it off the shelf. I dont have to go buy it.

I am so sick of being looked down upon for the decisions I make in life. Last time I checked, its my life. As long as I'm happy what is the big deal? Seriously. I'm sorry that some people can't accept that I am me...not who they want me to be.

I am so happy with my life. I have an amazing fiance. without him, im not sure what I would do. I have a beautiful son, who has my heart. He is probably the best thing ive ever done with my life...and I am more proud of him than anything in my life. Nevy is my little helper. Im not sure I would get through some days without her. I may be 24, but I'm pretty sure I'm more mature than alot of the people I graduated with, Contrary to what some people believe. I know within the last year I've grown up alot. And I for one, am pretty damn proud of myself....I think maybe you should be too.

Anyway, I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to everyone, but it makes sense to me. And thats all that matters because I feel better...somewhat.

Until next time,

~*Kristin*~

Relationships, the system and ignorance.

2011-09-18T19:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, so another random post about shit that is on my mind. I figure if I can write it down maybe it will stop racing through my head all night and my headache will go away. Who knows if it will work but it is worth a shot right?

Relationships. Some are good, some are just plain ugly right? I have been blessed with one of the good ones. I love Randy with all my heart. Hes the love of my life and my best friend. I cant see my future without him. It just doesn't make sense. And please believe if someone tries to keep us apart in the future I will fuck up their world. Randy was there for me during a time I needed him and my love for him grew into something great. Something neither of us ever expected to happen but it did, and I am so glad it did. I wouldn't have it any other way. He is my soul mate and the love we found brought us our beautiful baby boy who I would die without. He is my pride and joy. Being that we have a good relationship, this brings me to another topic..marriage. Many don't believe in marriage. They say it does nothing but ruin the relationship. In some ways, I guess I could agree...but not in all cases. You just don't get married till you find your soul mate. Yes if you marry the wrong person, of course it ruins the relationship because you realize you are trapped with someone you completely hate. But if you marry the right person, it could be a beautiful thing. Take my grandparents for instance. They were married at a young age and were married until my grandpa passed away in 1997. My grandma to this day wears her wedding ring on her finger and is still in love with my pap. They were faithful to each other until the day he left this earth. That, is a beautiful thing. I dream of my wedding day...hoping that it happens. I would love nothing more than to marry my best friend. But time will tell I suppose. Either way, he has my whole heart.

Now, there are also ugly relationships. Some couples just clash. These are the ones you hear about all the time about domestic issues. Why stay with that person? Seriously? If you hate your boyfriend or girlfriend so bad that you have to beat the shit out of them...why stay? Grow a set and move on with your life. It will be the best for everyone. Especially if there are children involved. They don't need to see that shit. I also hate the relationships where people have to lie and cheat. Cheaters have no sympathy from me. I think all of them deserve to rot in hell. If you are not happy, tell the other person and move on. Don't keep playing that person and hurting them. It never ends well and usually results in one of the relationships I already mentioned. Maybe I am old fashioned but I think every relationship should be like the one my grandparents had...faithful till the very end. If that cant happen...then fuck you I don't want any part of it.

My next subject..the system. Fuck the system. I thought they were supposed to be there to help you. They aren't. They are there to fuck you over. They are public assistance. They are supposed to be there for people who need HELP...not to pay someones entire life for them. If you are capable of working...get off your lazy fucking ass and get a job. Then maybe there will be enough left for those of us who really need ASSISTANCE. It really burns my ass that i bust my ass everyday to bring home a pay check and we cant even get a little bit of help to buy food, yet there are people completely capable of working sitting on their ass collecting a check every month and they don't have any problem getting food. It seriously makes no sense to me. Yes, I did get WIC...but i was lucky to get that. I showed them a check from right before i went on maternity leave...if i didn't i would have made to much. they even told me this..So a year from now when I report my income..we may lose WIC...but atleast for now We get milk, cheese, eggs and bread for the family, and formula for Keagyn. At this point ill take all the help we can get, but a little more would be nice.

And lastly, Ignorance. what gives people the right to be completely fucking ignorant towards another for no reason? I watched a coworker of mine get treated like shit today by another co worker. I thought it was completely out of line. I really just wanted to punch this ignorant person in the face. What makes one person any better than another? We are all the same no matter the color, how much we make, where we live, or the way we dress. Or how about what gives you the right to cuss me out just because you didn't see your beloved football game. get over it. Go hang out with your family. Id rather be spending time with mine than hearing you bitch at me for no reason. Just my opinion. I wish everyone could just be treated equally. It would make the world a better place. But no. That cant happen now can it?

Alight, ive gotten out what i need to say. I do feel a little better I suppose. Im sorry if it sounded like a bitch fest but my head feels better now. For now anyway. Feedback is nice, but not required. I just like to know im not crazy is all. Thanks for reading. have a good night.

Until next time

~*Diddy*~

Random thoughts and venting

2011-09-16T18:42:00.001-07:00

Ok so its been awhile. I just have a few things i need to get off my chest. They may not make much sense to the everyday reader but they make sense to me and I guess that is all that matters.

For starters, why must families pick favorites? Every family does it, but why the hell does it have to be that way. I always thought mine was different until a few months ago but im really not going into detail about it. Id just like to know why it has to be like that. It seriously drives me nuts. This is not my situation but I don't understand how one parent can choose one child over the another, or how a grandparent can favor a grandson or granddaughter over the other...or an aunt or uncle can chose one niece or nephew over the other for that matter. Blood is blood. they should all be treated and loved the same. And id like to smack some sense into some people because it drives me completely insane. I love my little boy to the moon and back but ya know what if i ever have another one I will love that one just the same. I couldn't imagine it differently. Hell, Nevaeh isn't even my child and i love her like she is mine, and id do anything for her. That should say something shouldn't it?

And on to another subject. I've been completely bummed lately. My supervisor's last day is Monday and it bothers me. She has seriously become like my 2nd mom. I can talk to her about anything and she keeps me sane in the work place. And now shes leaving. I have learned a lot from her. I feel like my rock is being taken away and I know i am going to cry even though i don't want to. I'm happy shes getting out of here and that she is going to be able to take care of her grandson. I'm scared ill never see her. Its happened to me in the past when i get close to someone. My friend Mitchell for instance. When i left target i was promised that we would remain best friends. I haven't seen him in over a year. And that hurts. we used to hang out atleast once a week. I miss him. Also, my friend Jess. She got a job and left ABB and I was told that we'd remain friends. We did until we became roomates then i moved out to move on with my life. Now we don't speak. I guess i just wish i could get out of here too but i cant afford a pay cut. I love you mamma luke and I am going to miss you. Please dont disappear forever.

I guess I will be done venting. I just had to get that stuff out cuz its bumming me out/pissing me off. Comment if you wish. If not I get it. Im used to people not caring.

Until next time

~*Diddy*~

Love works in amazing ways

2011-07-30T09:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry its been so long. I've been busy. lol. Since my last post I gave birth to our gorgeous healthy baby boy Keagyn. He was born on July 20, 2011 weighing 8lbs 5oz and he was 19 3/4 in long. I was in labor just under 12 hrs and pushed for 3 hrs and 10 min. I almost gave up because I was so tired but all of a sudden I found what it took and he came so fast after that they had to call the ER Dr because my doctor didn't make it quick enough. Thank you Dr. Baker for bringing my baby boy into this world safely! And thank you to my amazing boyfriend Randy for being by my side through the whole thing doing his best to keep me calm and pushing me to keep going and letting me know just how tough I actually am. You're amazing and I love you so much.

Keagyn is by far the best thing I have ever done in my life. I am so proud of him already. I look at him and I see a bright future and I wonder what I can do to make life the absolute best that i can for him. I haven't figured it out yet but I will make it the best that I possibly can. I have so much love for that little boy its unbelievable. I never thought it was possible to love someone so much so quickly. I knew when I was pregnant with him that I loved him but I didn't realize just how much until I saw his handsome little face and his big bright eyes looking up at me. He makes my heart melt. He really does. I am so blessed to have him in my life, and I would never want things any differently no matter how exhausted or overwhelmed I get.

Well I just wanted to drop in and update. I am going to watch my baby boy sleep for a little bit until he wakes up. Everything he does is just simply amazing to me. I will try to update again soon.

~*Until Next time*~

~*Diddy*~

^*My reason for living*^

Heartburn, Kicking and couponing!

2011-05-06T19:33:00.001-07:00

Well its been awhile. Yeah I suck I know. Life has been super busy. Some I can talk about on here, some I will refrain.

For starters, this heartburn has been killer lately. Its very random I know but it seems no matter what I try it doesn't stop. I can feel great all day long then as soon as I lay down to go to sleep it rears its ugly head. I swear with this heartburn my son is going to come out looking like an Ape lol.

I am now in my 29th week of pregnancy. Getting there. about 10 1/2 more weeks ish to go. Keagyn is growing everyday. I can tell with the way my belly is growing and my need to eat 24/7. Today for instance...I can't get full no matter how hard I try. Its kind of annoying cuz it makes me feel like a cow but its ok cuz lil man needs it so hes strong enough for his entry into the world. Also, the subtle little wiggles in my tummy that I felt, aren't so subtle anymore. I can literally sit here and watch my entire belly move. Our new found entertainment is to put things on my belly and watch keagyn kick them. I really don't mind too much until he wiggles his way into my ribs. That is VERY uncomfortable and he seems to like them alot. Like they are his own personal jungle gym.

I could really use a normal 9-5 mon-fri job but they are so hard to come by anymore. It would make life so much easier I think. I could be a bank teller or something but I cant really deal with the couple dollar an hr pay cut I would take. I'll just stick around here in hopes that someday a new shift will open, though I will not hold my breath. That wouldn't be good for my health. lol

So, Couponing...its Randy and I's new hobby. Its fun and addicting. We learned this thanks to the new show, Extreme Couponing. We decided to give it a shot and now we are buying several sunday papers a week and printing lots of online coupons. We have had a few successful trips, such as the trips to dollar general and walgreens, buying 9 bottles of body wash, a bottle of shout, a 6 pack of paper towels and 2 tubes of toothpaste and only spending .48 between the 2 stores. Who needs drugs when you get a high off watching the price drop like that? Its fantastic. We're going to keep practicing and maybe we can be like the people on tv. lol.

Alright well, its about time for me to get out of work and I am more than ready please believe. I'll try to write again soon, and if i bored the shit out of you, Sorry :-) nite!

~*Until next time*~

Diddy

Childish BS and Cheating...seriously WTF?

2011-03-31T17:23:00.000-07:00

Ok this is kind of random but just some shit I feel strongly about and I figured i'd write in here to get my feelings out about it.

Subject one... Childish bullshit. Please tell me what compels people to prank call someone? Especially at 3am? Thats soooo elementary school. What brought this on you ask? I got a prank call at 3am the other morning from someone (im 95% sure i know who) Saying they were "Fucked up Pamela Anderson from the altoona hospital and they are so sorry to tell me that my hiv test came back positive." First of all.."Hi this is fucked up pamela anderson" Very professional..not a hospital..for 2.. a hospital isnt going to call me at 3am to give me test results...for 3...the hospital isnt going to leave a message to leave test results because of privacy issues. This really rubbed me the wrong way. I have issues sleeping lately as it is because of this pregnant body of mine and the heartburn so when I do finally doze off i don't like interruption..so when u wake me up for something stupid, its irritating. Also, I don't live alone in my own room anymore...so not only are you waking my pregnant ass up, but you are waking Randy as well and in a few more months you will wake up my baby...and that will piss me the fuck off. Some people never grow up and its sad. You are 23 years old. its time to start. If it happens again I will prove its you and I will think about pressing charges. Just sayin. Grow. The. Fuck. Up. Thanks.

Subject Two for the evening. Cheating. For no reason in general just the subject in a whole. Why cheat? Someone always gets hurt in the end. I personally would rather be dumped than cheated on. I have been cheated on a few times. The one guy was sleeping with a friend of mine the entire time we were together, because I wouldn't give it up to him. Lame excuse. He actually got my friend pregnant then she lost the baby. Then he started hanging out with this other chick and when i confronted him about it he told me she was his cousin...yea well i didn't trust him anymore at this point so I broke it off..later come to find out he is now married and has a child with this so called cousin...yea cousin my ass. if so you are one sick bastard. I know several people who have cheated on their significant other...and I really don't think its right at all. If you are not happy with your other half anymore...end it. move on. end of story. don't drag it on until someone gets hurt because it never ends well. I just don't understand the subject at all. I would never. Its bullshit.

Anyway, now that I have vented I suppose ill go for the night. Feed back is cool btw :-)

~*Until next time*~

Diddy

stupidity

2011-03-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

This blog may not mean a whole lot to anyone other than myself but I feel the need to rant and get things out so this is my way to do it. Maybe people will find it entertaining, maybe not.

I can't stand stupid people. Seriously, the stupidity of people anymore amazes me. People I talk to at work for instance. I often wonder to myself how they do it, or how they graduated high school for that matter, because they seem to have the intelligence level of a 1 year old. I will follow with a few examples.

Example #1: "I have a black screen on my tv and I can't figure out why." Any normal person would know why you have a black screen on your tv. The conversation goes as follows. Me: "Is the power light on the front of you cable box?" Idiot: "I don't know, how do I know that?" Me: "Well, if you walk over to your box and press the power button what happens?" Idiot: (pushes power button) "Oh I have a picture. What could have happened?" Me: "Um, you didn't turn your cable box on. If you don't you will not have a picture" Idiot: "Oh. You're such a genius. Thank you!" (click).

ok seriously, common sense would tell you that in order to get a picture you must turn your tv and cable box on. Randy's 4 year old daughter can tell you how to turn the tv and the box on for goodness sake. Seriously how do these people do it? They call me a genius because I know how to turn on a tv. I just don't understand people.

Example #2: "I can't change the channel on my remote control." My response: "If you push the channel button on the remote do any lights come on the remote" "No." My response to this is well then the remote isn't getting power." At this point usually either the batteries are in the wrong way or the batteries need changed. If we go through all this and the remote still does not work, ok I will give them the benefit of the doubt and the remote needs replaced. When you tell them to bring it into the office and swap it out you get this answer. " How am I supposed to change the channel until I get in there then?" seriously people? what did you do before there was a remote control and you actually had to get up off your over sized lazy ass and flip through channels? I can remember having to change our old tv set from the dial on the tv when I was a kid. People are so lazy these days. Its disgusting.

I don't know if I would classify this next one as a rant or an example but the last 2 days I have gotten people trying to tell me what they would like to pay for our service. Really? One guy actually told me that he is currently a customer of Dish and he would be willing to switch to our triple play if we will knock $10 off of it because to get out of his contract with dish they will charge him a $10 cancellation fee every month for the duration of the contract. Really? The price of the package is $114.99 not $104.99 dude. I don't walk into Mcdonalds and tell them I want a cheeseburger from the dollar menu and tell them I only want to pay .50 for it. It just doesn't work that way. If it did, I would negotiate prices on everything. I also had a guy insist that I didn't have to charge him an install fee. Fact of life, if a tech is coming to your house to install a service, there will be an install charge. After I told him no 3 times and that the best i could do is cut it in half...he hung up on me...then proceeded to call back and get someone else who, wait for it, also told him no...and he hung up on that person too. Once again the stupidity of people amazes me these days.

Anyway, thats about enough of that. Just a quick side not before I end this for the night, Randy and I decided on a name for our baby boy. His name is going to be Keagyn Alexzander Cassidy. But this mamma is out for the night now. I feel so much better getting all that off my chest.

Until next time

Please use common sense

~*Diddy*~

Wow

2011-03-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

So, here it is years later and I finally decide to write again. You may feel free to disregard my previous posts. They are from a chapter of my life that is now closed.

So, since my last post, I have found true love in my amazing boyfriend Randy. I now live with him and his little girl...and guess what? We are expecting our first child together July 19th. A son. I'm 22 weeks today, and I couldn't be any more happy. I cant wait to meet the little guy. I finally started feeling him move around about 3 weeks or so ago. Every time I feel the little nudge it makes me smile. Its amazing just how much you can love someone you haven't met yet.

Speaking of the baby, I had a Dr. appt today. It went well. I found out that from last months appt to now I have gained 7lbs. Im such a fatty lol. I also found out I have to get the rogam(Sp?) shot because I am O neg blood type. yay. lol. Other than that little man is healthy.

I'm terrible at this writing thing. I'm not sure what to write about today but I just thought I would update quick. If I think of anything else I'll write again. I'll try to get back into the whole thing again. I used to be decent with it. Just gotta get back in the swing of things.

Until Next time

~*Diddy*~

Live Fast, Die Young

2009-01-22T15:49:00.000-08:00

Why is it that the good ones always go so early? I lost a friend of mine the other day. He was like my brother in highschool. We've lost touch a little bit but we still talked every now and then. I just feel like shit because i feel i should have been around more for him. In highschool we talked all the time and when he was in basic training i wrote to him faithfully 2 summers in a row. and i have every letter. i read them from time to time and remember the boy he used to be. I feel like ass because i should have spent more time with him. Lyndsey says we always think there is more time. but really, there isnt always more time. what gets me is the viewing is private so its family only. so we arent going to get our closure. its not fair to us. I miss him. :(

well, im rambling i just needed to get some stuff out. ill try to write again soon.

until next time,
let everyone close to you know how much they mean to you.

~*Diddy*~

RIP JOSHUA SETH CADLE

Happy Holidays

2008-12-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

Well, long time to write huh. I'm a little more cheerful since my last entry. haha. Lets see whats been up.

Not a whole lot really. Just workin my butt off day in and day out. Christmas is coming. Its my favorite time of year. I like it a whole lot better this year than I did the last 2 years. Im not in retail anymore and I dont have to stress out as much. I have my share of bad days but its nothing like workin at the bullseye. I have spent so much money on xmas this year...alot of money i shouldnt have spent. lol. Speaking of which, I went shopping last night and I lost one of my bags. I had a gift for steves sister and I lost the bag...gone. We've called around to see if i left it somewhere in the mall and no one turned it in. bastards. someone saw it and said oh free xmas present!! yea screw you i hope your christmas sucks. lol.

Im really struggling here. I dont know what to write about. Im working on a course for work. I have 2 lessons to go out of 9. After I finish it I have to take a final and then I will get a raise. A small one but every penny counts. Haha. Bills are kicking my ass. Car Insurance, Car Payment, Student Loans, 2 Credit Cards....Ill be glad when I can get atleast one of those cards paid off so I have one less bill to worry about. But now that I went crazy with it for Christmas its going to take awhile. HAHA.

Well, Im at work and I dont know what to write about. No one reads anyway i never get comments. I'll catch ya'll soon. If I dont write before have a Merry Christmas and a safe New Year.

Forget it

2008-10-11T13:36:00.001-07:00

Ya kno the last few days everyone has been asking me whats wrong. I dont seem myself. Im not cheerful....You wanna know why......forget life. im sick of it all together. I work 40+ hours a week....to barely bring in enough money to pay for my car payment and insurance. its retarded. Also, Im sick of my house. i hate that im 21 years old and still sharing a room with my mom...I cant do anything in there cuz shes always in bed. no lie. My room needs cleaned like you wouldnt believe but you kno I cant do that cuz shes in bed all freaking day. Yesterday i came home from a shitty day at work and what do ya kno she hadnt been out of bed ALL day so i couldnt even go in my room and chill cuz she was in there still sleeping. Its bullshit and i hate it. Then to top it off...my boyfriend who suposidly quit smoking a year ago was smoking again. fuck this. im done. i cant deal with it anymore. i just want to pick up and move away and forget life in altoona and everyone in it :(

later
Diddy

Gonna party till the break of dawn

2008-09-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I havent written in ages. I am so bad about keeping up with this thing. Its really rather stupid to keep posting because no one reads anyway.

I really havent been up to much. Just working basically. Tryin hard to make commission but so far it hasnt happend yet. Oh I bought a new car and im basically broke because of it. I love it though. Its hot. 2006 Pontiac G6 GTP. I just wish my job paid a little more because after insurance and a car payment, i basically have enough money to pay for my 2 credit cards. Student loans are coming and I think dad is going to have to help me pay those back because I'm not going to have it. Unless a miracle arises. But we'll see.

Steve got a job! A good one too. Im so excited for him. He deserves it. He will be getting benefits and everything after 60 days. Im so proud of him. And his bos said that if he goes and gets his CDL license and his pa inspection license he will be making more money. This could be it his calling and it helps me breathe a sigh of relief because I know hes the one, I know that if he can keep this job we can have a future together and nothing makes me more happy than that feeling. I love him with all my heart and I would like to shout it so loud that the world could hear.

I have been feeling a little down about myself lately. I feel like im not pretty enough. I feel fat and disgusting and im not sure why. Maybe its because my pants are getting tighter than they used to be. its because all i do is sit on my ass at work. Adam and i go on like 15 min walks everyday but i guess thats not enough.

My 21st bday is one week from today. im gettin excited. i just hope i dont puke,

well, im talkin to my baby, im gonna go. i'll try to update soon.

Until Next Time

~*Diddy*~

The time of my life

2008-08-06T00:07:00.000-07:00

Hello folks. Its been awhile I know...but im working a shit ton and barely have time to breathe let alone post on here. But here I am.

Since my last post I attended the American Idols Live tour with my best friend mitchell. It was a pretty fun day. we met at target in the morning, picked up the rental car...which was...drum roll please...a cadillac cts. we were pimpin it out on the way to pittsburgh thats for sure. after picking up the rental we headed for pittsburgh and went to the monroeville mall. i bought a pair of jeans and an abercrombie shirt and mitch bought a pair of sunglasses that he later decided he didnt like. haha. after spending most of the day at the mall we headed for the mellon arena. we ran into some people we knew and hung out with them in line. Keep in mind i was going into this show not knowing what to expect seeing as how i never watched a show this season. but i must say the show was fantastic. David cook blew my mind. im now a fan. hes pretty much amazing and i just want to thank mitchell for inviting me. i had a blast! im not real good with the whole recap thing so if you want a play by play you may want to check out his blog. its linked on the side of my site. :)

I bought a laptop today. Its a sony vaio. i love it :) i feel i got a decent deal on it so we'll see lol. im sorry this is short but im sleepy and steve is here ;) we're gonna go chill. Catch you all soon!

until next time
~*Diddy*~

2008-07-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

Well Hello Readers...the very few that there are.
Im finally back to write. Im horrible with updating this thing and for that I am sorry. I promise i'll try to come back more often.

In my last entry I mentioned a job interview with Atlantic Broadband. Well, I got the job. I started on June 10th. June 9th was my last day at Target and I cried like a baby. Literally. It was sad but I go in to visit alot. And I still talk to my bestest Mitchell ona regular basis. Anyway, I just finished up training at ABB and I start on the phones on my own tomorrow and im pretty scared about it. The job is ok. Alot of the people are awesome and i can tell I'm going to make some new friends there. Also, The pay checks are damn good compared to what I was getting at target. Like triple the amount which rox my world.

Im looking for a new car. Only problem is, my insurance is going to be sky high. oh well guess thats wat i get. lol

well im sorry this is short but today is my last saturday off and i am going to go find something to do. big mouth subs ruined my day by calling steve into work so now i dont have anything to do. its lame. I wanted to go to community days tonite and now i doubt im gonna be able to go. its stupid. I can never go when i want. i wanted to go the past 2 years and couldnt cuz i had to work. bull shit.

im out. leave comments please.

Now that its all said and done...

2008-05-31T13:39:00.000-07:00

Well, yes folks...ive done it. I've graduated penn highlands community college with an associates degree...with honors none the less. go me. Graduation was cool. My best friends and my family were there to cheer me on. Thank you to Mitchell, Chris, Steve, my fam...and the big angry midget matthew for showing up. it means alot to me that you all came. The party afterward was fun too. everyone that i wanted to come showed up did, well with exception of mitch. But it made my nite. So now what is in store for diddy? Well folks, the job search is on.

Speaking of job search, I had an interview with atlantic broadband yesterday. It seemed to go well and I think i may get the job. The only downside to that being, its second shift which means i work from 2:30-11 thursday-monday. but its full time, benefits, and good cash flow. so i'll take what i can get and i'll just have to rearrange my social scheduel. wish me luck.

other than that, nothing much is happening. im trying to get more hours at the bullseye..but im not gonna hold my breath. i guess thats all i have for you today. i just kind of had a brain fart and everything i was going to say has left, so i'm gonna go. lol. have a good day and i'll try to write soon.

until we meet again,
~*Diddy*~

Comin to an End...

2008-04-29T13:04:00.000-07:00

Well, about 2 weeks of classes to go and this chapter of my college career has ended. Whether I decide to return to school or the story ends here...well you're just going to have to wait and see. lol. Im not even sure of that myself yet.

I have a job interview Thursday morning at 10:30am. Its for Hoss's corporate office as a receptionist. It's only wednesdays and covering shifts for right now, but it could turn permanant. Atleast it will get my foot in the door and it will get me more work experience. I'm a little nervous though. I hope I dont choke on my words. Also Thursday, Ive been invited to go to the scholars awards ceremony. I guess its where they pick the top academic achiever in each program and they get an award...and I just so happen to be getting the award in my program. GO ME! lol. So that might be interesting, and if it isnt, well its getting me out of english class. who wants to talk about hamlet anyway? lol.

ok randomness...YAY!
1. Mario Kart Wii is the greatest game ever invented. I'm obsessed with it. I sit there and cuss at the screen for hours. Those little bastards race dirty! lol. So if you have a wii, I suggest you go buy yourself a copy. Thats right, stop reading right now and go get the damn game! lol.

2. Heath Ledger will always be gorgeous even tho hes gone now. I watched 10 Things I hate about you the other day. That movie gets me every time. His accent....wholy shit. lol.

3. Protein bars taste like shit. Not that I know what shit tastes like or anything but yea I tried some blueberry ones and i had one and gave the rest to my dad. they were pretty gross. and not only gross going down, but they left a gross after taste and they made my mountain dew taste like....gross. lol.

well im out of things for the day. Sorry if i bored you out of your mind once again. More to come soon. So leave feedback so I know people care!

until next time...

~*Diddy*~

finally looking up

2008-04-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

Well, Im glad to say things are slowly starting to work themselves out. With exception of the job hunt situation anyway. lol. but we will save that for another day.

Chris and Heidi are finally talking to me again! and I couldnt be more glad. We all hung out last night and went bowling and Id have to say it was one of the best times ive had in a long ass time. Alcohol was deffinately involved and we never got home till 5am. lol. but it was just so much fun and im glad things werent weird. I deffinately missed them and im looking forward to us all being able to hang out again. It was killing me not hanging out with them.

Today was the MS walk in hollidaysburg. I raised $75 dollars for it, so to everyone who dontated, THANK YOU! I raised enough that i got an MS Walk tshirt. So that is pretty cool. I was pretty proud of myself. I walked the entire 5 miles on 4 hours of sleep, and HUNGOVER! lol. i woke up this morning feeling the need to barf, instead i almost shit my pants. lol. and i had the biggest headache ever, but i sucked it up and walked. In the pouring rain none the less and as result im more than likely going to get sick. lol. but hell it was worth every second. it was so much fun. :)

I started going to the gym, and besides the fact that my stomach seems to be getting fat instead of flat cuz ive been eating non stop, i feel pretty good about my self now. Working out leaves me feeling accomplished and regenerized for some reason. so im hoping if i keep at it i can shed a few of the fat pounds and look good. :)

well im completely exhausted. so im gonna go wait for steve to call and tell me hes home ok, then its bedtime. Catch you all later.

until we meet again,
~*Diddy*~

Scream my lungs out try to get to you....

2008-04-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a brief entry. And im not sure when i'll write again. Something big happened yesterday. A few people know, but I'm not going to lay it out for the public to know. All I know is its ripping me apart. Literally. Half my heart feels like its been ripped out of my chest and taken away. And no, steve and i didnt break up. But it feels that way. I cant even begin to put into words what I am feeling right now. I'm confused. Im hurt. Im angry. Im depressed. and that is just half of it. I hardly slept last night. and when I did drift to sleep I dreamed about it. I cant escape it. and frankly it upsets me. I wish I could just forget about it but I cant. I know alot of you are confused right now, but thats ok. This entry is more for me to vent about my feelings. And the people who know what happened will understand better. I dont know i guess im going to stop writing. I have things to do, even though all I feel like doing is sleeping my life away. You dont even know. I may not write for awhile, but just know i'll be back when the time is right.

till we meet again
~*Diddy*~

what a day

2008-04-09T23:36:00.000-07:00

Well. I was pretty much in a funk for most of the day. I had a dr apt at 2:15. They are never fun. But I didnt get violated today which is a plus. After that I met Lyndsey and she suprised me by asking me if I would be her maid of honor in her wedding in Oct 2009! How awesome is that shit! So we went to David's Bridal and tried on dresses. She looked so cute! I'm excited for her. I really am. And I'm honored to be her Maid of Honor.

Then, I get home tonight and I read a blog that Mitch wrote. It's people like him that keep me going and I just want to give a big old virtual hug to him right now. (hes a germaphobe so I cant give him a real one)*HUGS!* Hes my best friend and I wouldnt change it for the world. You know, I really want to see that movie Made of Honor. Its about a girl and a guy that are best friends and she asks him to be her maid of honor LOL. It kind of reminds me of mitch and I, though in the movie hes inlove with the bride and tries to steal her from the groom. I dont see that happening in our situation. lol. but who knows I could be wrong. Mitch I think that may be a movie we need to sneak out and see together. What do you think? =)

Well, short entry but I thought id share the exciting events of today with everyone. I'm off to bed now to get my much needed beauty sleep for tomorrow. Class all day with my pals. Thanks for the kind words in ur blog mitch. it really made my day! And who knows...maybe a giant anaconda will eat midget and all your problems will be solved! *evil laugh*

Until we meet again
~*Diddy*~

no title for this one

2008-04-07T22:04:00.000-07:00

I couldn't think of a title for this one. Much because I'm sort of in a funk when i write this tonite. I just feel the need for some venting time. So here goes.

I miss my friend(well ex friend) Chris. He recently stopped talking to me cuz his ex girlfriend that hes trying to get back together with hates me. She blames me for them breaking up for whatever reason. And it bothers me. Chris and I were tight. We always hung out and we always had a blast. But aparently im a slut and can't be trusted around him so she wont allow him to see me. And to top it off i recently found out they got back together. So i guess i can lose his number cuz i wont be seeing him anymore. Aparently many people think im a slut? Another friend for instance wont let me chill with my best friend because they somehow think im going to steal him or something. I dont know its all dum. I dont see how im a big slut when Ive been with one guy my whole life and Im inlove with him. I couldnt even dream of cheating on him. I dont even know anymore. The whole thing just depresses me.

So, Random moment, I ate an entire bag of popcorn by myself after work today. It was fantastic. MmM the buttery essence just melts in your mouth. And the result of it, I feel like ass. Ate way to much for my lil belly. Oh but i could totally go for another bag! lol.

Ive come to realize i need to start budgeting my money again. I was doing so good. I had alot saved up in my checking account. And then I started splurging way to much. iPod for one. ok thats not too bad rite. I used my tax money from last year. Wii. Big mistake. I mean its fun but im still paying of my credit card as a result of it. lol. Guitar Hero III. Love it...spend almost 90 dollars on it....and I shouldnt have. And the big kahuna of impulse buys...rock band. super game..but didnt have the money. and it takes up so much space! lol. So in result I have like 200 bucks in the bank and soon im going to be getting student loans. so from now on..NO MORE IMPULSE BUYING! unless daughtry comes to town of course! lol. I put my tax money from this year in savings so i cant spend it...unless i decide to get the camera ive been wanting..but ive been planing this for a few weeks now and i have someone lined up to buy my old one. so we'll see. any suggestions?

Well, that was enough boring randomness for the day. Catch you all soon. If anyone reads. I dont get any feedback.

Until next time,
~*Diddy*~

Destination Unknown...

2008-03-31T20:23:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is, March 30. Just a little less than 2 months till I graduate. And you know what? I have no idea where Im going in life. Hense the title of this entry, Destination Unknown. Thats exactly how I feel at this moment. Im so confused right now. I am broke. I need more money. I could use a second job, but I dont have the time for one. My hours at Target dont allow me any free time as it is, but they arent going to pay for a more reliable car either. Maybe when classes are finished I will be work aholic. i'll work a job in the mornings and target in the evenings. That is until I find something in my field of work, if I can find one that is. What happens if i dont like webdesign when i get out there? Then i wasted pretty much 2 years of my life and all that money for nothing. I'll be dirt poor living on the streets. Im not moving far away. Ive already decided that. If i was going to move far away I would go onward with school and go to ECU, My dream school that I was too stupid to get into in the first place. I could easily get in there now, with my honors grades. I guess I showed them. haha. Too bad thats not going to happen. Im not leaving steve. Especially now when he needs me the most. Which brings me to my next randomness about my life.

Steve's dad isnt doing very well. He was diagnosed with cancer in the summer and they gave him 6 months. God love the man hes fighting with all his might, but its starting to take hold on him. Steve's sitting up all night every night with him and barely getting any sleep. Not only is he stressed, but seeing him upset is killing me. I dont even know what to do with myself anymore. I have trouble sleeping, and im not eating. Im going to wither away to nothing here soon. But thats enough of that.

Easter sucked. The easter bunny forgot lil ol' me this year. I guess i was a bad girl. I didnt even get as much as a card. From ANYONE! :(

On a lighter note...Who thinks Chris Daughtry should stop touring and make a new album? I'll be the first one to raise my hand and jump up and down. I mean, dont get me wrong I love seeing him live and would love more chances, but how about makin some more music. hes going to start losing his fans if he doesnt. They are going to get bored. I mean I wont stop loving him. Im addicted to that voice of his. But im just looking out for his well being. He needs to make more music!

Well, Im off to send out more resumes. Wish me luck. And if you have any ideas of where I can send one, throw them my way. Please?

Catch you all on the flip side.

~*Diddy*~

Guess Whos Back? Back again?

2008-03-04T22:39:00.000-08:00

Diddy's Back. Tell a friend.

lol dont ask where that came from. Sounded good though didnt it? haha. So, since my last entry, steve and I shared our 2 year anniversary together. 2 years into forever about sums it up. Hes amazing, and I'm glad I can call him mine. Ya kno, I can remember the first day I met him. I went Skating with Jesse and Alica. Of course I had never been skating in my life, and I fell on my ass. Numerous times. And steve was the one who skated over to help me up. Sweet huh? Like I said, hes amazing and I knew from that moment when he picked me up and brushed me off, that he was going to be mine forever.

The school semester is about half over. you know what that means right? Just 2 short months till I am out of that place! WOO!! So people help me find a job with benefits cuz im going to need something soon.

I've come to realize what awesome friends I have. Really. I dont know what I would do without them. For starters, Mitchell. I met him when I started work at the bullseye...at first I was intimidated by him, then he started talking to me around octoberish I believe. We just clicked. Its like we got eachother. now we're the best of friends. And thats awesome cuz I wouldnt have it any other way. I know i'll always be there for him and I hope he would do the same for me. Next is Lyndsey. My best friend since 7th grade. We started as rivals because she liked NSYNC and I liked the Backstreet Boys. But you know, that was one difference that brought us closer together. Lyndsey and i have been through some rough shit together but we've made it and I know we'll be friends till the end. And last but not least, Chris. I also met chris at the bullseye. and hes pretty much one of the coolest people I ever met. Also, one of the sweetest. He lets me cry on his shoulder when I need him and I thank him for that. I cant forget my college buddies too. You guys know who you are.

I really wish I was better at this whole blogging thing. Much like Mitchell. But unfortunately instead of entertaining I tend to bore the living shit out of people. I dont know how he does it but You should look at his blog. he rocks...HARDCORE! :)

well, im off to bed after an amazing night with steven. Ronnie keep your chin up. i love ya! catch you all at a later date!

until we meet again,
hold on to those dear to you

~*Diddy*~

Finally!

2008-02-19T07:46:00.001-08:00

Sorry its been so long. Ive been busy as shit with school and work. Its kinda stressing actually. But im getting by just fine.

Not a whole lot has been going on. Maybe thats another reason I haven't written. I dont like to bore people with my writings, which im pretty sure I do anyway. lol.

Valentines Day has come and gone. I had classes all day. Till 9pm in fact. So that kinda sucked. But steve came over after I got done and we went bowling with Chris and Samantha. That was really fun. I love bowling, but I seem to really suck at it lately. Like im talking im lucky to break 50. lmao. Anyway, afterward we all went to Denny's. I enjoy spending time with them. Steve got me the giant white bear from target that Ive been wanting since last year. Hes cute. I think i shall name him Valentine :)

Our 2 year anniversary is monday. Plans are to hang out all day. He will go to my one evening class with me then we will go to the Olive Garden. those are the plans. we will see if things go smoothly. Things always go wrong for us on the 25th. its like some awful curse. lol.

Im graduating in just about 2 months...and the thought sort of scares me. I will lose my insurance and have to get out and try to find either a second job, or a real job. Cuz quite frankly one cant live on target salary, unless you are like an executive or something. Which sort of sucks because no matter how much I bitch and Moan about work...i like it. Well, not the job itself but the atmosphere and the people there. I think i'll probably cry when I leave, and visit all the time. no doubt. Oh, if all goes well...I should be going away with work for a few days in June. I signed up for plan-o-rama. its where we go help set the planograms for the new store thats going up. Im kind of excited about it. The day goes fast when you're setting planograms.

well, now that ive bored everyone to tears, im off to brush my teeth and go pick up courtney so we can go to classes. Steve and I might be getting 2 older huskies today. hes going to look at them. I would absolutely die if we could. Anyway im outie.

until next time...

*~Kristin~*

wow. long time no blog

2008-01-26T23:19:00.000-08:00

Well Here I am...blogging in the new year. for the first time. and its been here for almost a month. Im sorry im such a slacker. But I havent really been in the blogging mood...nor have I had the time.

not a whole lot is new really. A group of us went to Dave and Dianna's wedding. That was an absolute blast. I love my friends to death, and I wouldnt trade them for the world. I really needed that weekend away to clear my head of all the pain in the ass shit going on at home.

Steve and I are doing better than my last entry. Like I said, I regretted everything I wrote the next day. What can I say i love the boy. Even though we have our rough times sometimes, I still love him with all my heart. What doesnt hurt our relationship will only make us stronger. He is pretty much the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and I wouldnt give up one moment with him if my life depended on it. Not one.

Ive started school back up. My last semester. THANK GOD! I have some shitty classes this semester like literature and health and wellness. Just what I need, a class that is going to tell me how unhealthy and fat I am, while im sitting on my ass reading literature written in old english not doing a damn thing about being unhealthy and fat. lol. But the good thing is, the teachers are pretty damn cool. which is a huge plus. My computer classes seem pretty cool. Im learning XML. Its different. And my small business class is just as bad as marketing was last semester. but what ever. just 14 weeks to go and im done.

I found out today I got Great team hero for the month of february at work. Which in everyone elses terms its like employee of the month. Im pretty excited about it. I never thought they would pick me. But I think i have my best friend Mitchell and Theresa to thank for that one because they mentioned me and how well ive been doing. Thanks guys. You rock...HARDCORE

well here it is 2:30am and im still awake. I think its time to close for the evening cuz I work all day tomorrow. I'll post soon.

Until we meet again....
remember its the little things that mean the most.

~*Diddy*~

Just what I am feeling

2007-12-05T19:55:00.000-08:00

Well. Right now im feeling pretty crappy. I haven't seen my boyfriend since Sunday and i was really looking forward to seeing him today but he decided to go to a bar an hour away from here instead. This hurt me pretty bad. This made me realize, I dont really know how i feel anymore. Im miserable 99% of the time anymore and i never truly understood why. Everyone keeps asking me if im alright. I just dont know what to tell them anymore. I mean i love him, dont get me wrong. But I just dont know if im happy anymore and it kills me to say that. I dont know what is making me feel this way. Maybe its because I worry. I worry that we will never be able to get married. We will never be able to have kids. We will never be able to afford a house. He cant save money for the life of him. I try so hard, but I cant do it alone. Maybe thats why im feeling this way right now. I mean everyone I know is having babies, moving out on their own. Getting engaged. Im getting nothing. Im stuck at home with my mom my dad my gram and my dog. I really shouldnt be saying this because I know tomorrow or the next day im going to kick myself for all of it. But its just how im feeling at the moment and i need to get it all out.

I have almost all my christmas shopping done. I still have a few things to get. My best friend and I are going out shopping sometime next week and I couldnt be anymore excited than I am. I love spending time with him. hes wonderful and he always knows how to cheer me up when im upset, and he always knows just what to say when im in a mood like this. I just wish i could talk to him right now.

well, im gonna go find something to do for 3 more hours till steve comes home from the bar and calls me. I should probably be studying for my last final...but right now thats the last thing on my mind. which is bad. I'll try to write a more chipper entry soon. but right now im just not feeling it. Not like anyone is really reading this anyway.

until we meet again
~*Diddy*~

Under construction

2007-11-27T22:20:00.000-08:00

Well, Ive done it. I've created yet another new blog site in my attempts to pull away from myspace. Not like it will work, but I'm giving it a shot. I also post various entries on my best friend's blog which you can access here.

On this site, I'm pretty much just going to be blunt about everything that is going on in my life or how I am feeling when I post. If im having a crappy day, chances are you'll get a rant. I'm pretty good at that. If I dont have alot to say, you'll probably just get random thoughts. Or if something big or exciting happens, you'll read about my excitement here. I spend way to much time on myspace and I need your help to get away from it. So please comment and let me know you read. Please and thank you muchly.

So here I go, onward with the new site. I've been pretty stressed lately. Everything at school is going on at once. Finals week is next week and im not exactly pumped for it at all. I always stress out in the end because everything is due at the same time. Not exactly my idea of a swell time. Anyway, im hardly getting any hours at work either, which isnt going to allow me to buy christmas gifts which doesn't make me happy either. Christmas is my favorite holiday and not being able to buy gifts for everyone I want to is going to kill me.

Another thing I would love to rant about is the drama at home. For those of you that don't know, here is the situation. To make a long story short, Mom and Dad are divoriced. Mom had a bad relationship, dad took pitty, so mom is living with us. So is gram. Gram doesnt like mom. Mom and gram bicker. not a fun time. Anyway now that you are filled in it sucks. Alot of you are probably thinking, why are you complaining atleast your parents are living with you in the same house. Well its not all its cracked up to be. There is tension every where and I share a room with my mom. Im 20 years old...I have no privacy. EVER!! It's not fair and every day I wish more that I could move out on my own. But making what I make, I cant afford it. Im just so tired of it. I wish things would just go back to how they used to be before she came to live with us.

Alright, so my first post was a rant. sorry. But i will write soon. Bare with me. The site is under construction im still learning how to use it. Please leave me feedback :)

Until we meet again
~*Diddy*~