Relationships, the system and ignorance.

Ok, so another random post about shit that is on my mind. I figure if I can write it down maybe it will stop racing through my head all night and my headache will go away. Who knows if it will work but it is worth a shot right?

Relationships. Some are good, some are just plain ugly right? I have been blessed with one of the good ones. I love Randy with all my heart. Hes the love of my life and my best friend. I cant see my future without him. It just doesn't make sense. And please believe if someone tries to keep us apart in the future I will fuck up their world. Randy was there for me during a time I needed him and my love for him grew into something great. Something neither of us ever expected to happen but it did, and I am so glad it did. I wouldn't have it any other way. He is my soul mate and the love we found brought us our beautiful baby boy who I would die without. He is my pride and joy. Being that we have a good relationship, this brings me to another topic..marriage. Many don't believe in marriage. They say it does nothing but ruin the relationship. In some ways, I guess I could agree...but not in all cases. You just don't get married till you find your soul mate. Yes if you marry the wrong person, of course it ruins the relationship because you realize you are trapped with someone you completely hate. But if you marry the right person, it could be a beautiful thing. Take my grandparents for instance. They were married at a young age and were married until my grandpa passed away in 1997. My grandma to this day wears her wedding ring on her finger and is still in love with my pap. They were faithful to each other until the day he left this earth. That, is a beautiful thing. I dream of my wedding day...hoping that it happens. I would love nothing more than to marry my best friend. But time will tell I suppose. Either way, he has my whole heart.

Now, there are also ugly relationships. Some couples just clash. These are the ones you hear about all the time about domestic issues. Why stay with that person? Seriously? If you hate your boyfriend or girlfriend so bad that you have to beat the shit out of them...why stay? Grow a set and move on with your life. It will be the best for everyone. Especially if there are children involved. They don't need to see that shit. I also hate the relationships where people have to lie and cheat. Cheaters have no sympathy from me. I think all of them deserve to rot in hell. If you are not happy, tell the other person and move on. Don't keep playing that person and hurting them. It never ends well and usually results in one of the relationships I already mentioned. Maybe I am old fashioned but I think every relationship should be like the one my grandparents had...faithful till the very end. If that cant happen...then fuck you I don't want any part of it.

My next subject..the system. Fuck the system. I thought they were supposed to be there to help you. They aren't. They are there to fuck you over. They are public assistance. They are supposed to be there for people who need HELP...not to pay someones entire life for them. If you are capable of working...get off your lazy fucking ass and get a job. Then maybe there will be enough left for those of us who really need ASSISTANCE. It really burns my ass that i bust my ass everyday to bring home a pay check and we cant even get a little bit of help to buy food, yet there are people completely capable of working sitting on their ass collecting a check every month and they don't have any problem getting food. It seriously makes no sense to me. Yes, I did get WIC...but i was lucky to get that. I showed them a check from right before i went on maternity leave...if i didn't i would have made to much. they even told me this..So a year from now when I report my income..we may lose WIC...but atleast for now We get milk, cheese, eggs and bread for the family, and formula for Keagyn. At this point ill take all the help we can get, but a little more would be nice.

And lastly, Ignorance. what gives people the right to be completely fucking ignorant towards another for no reason? I watched a coworker of mine get treated like shit today by another co worker. I thought it was completely out of line. I really just wanted to punch this ignorant person in the face. What makes one person any better than another? We are all the same no matter the color, how much we make, where we live, or the way we dress. Or how about what gives you the right to cuss me out just because you didn't see your beloved football game. get over it. Go hang out with your family. Id rather be spending time with mine than hearing you bitch at me for no reason. Just my opinion. I wish everyone could just be treated equally. It would make the world a better place. But no. That cant happen now can it?

Alight, ive gotten out what i need to say. I do feel a little better I suppose. Im sorry if it sounded like a bitch fest but my head feels better now. For now anyway. Feedback is nice, but not required. I just like to know im not crazy is all. Thanks for reading. have a good night.

Until next time

~*Diddy*~

Random thoughts and venting

Ok so its been awhile. I just have a few things i need to get off my chest. They may not make much sense to the everyday reader but they make sense to me and I guess that is all that matters.

For starters, why must families pick favorites? Every family does it, but why the hell does it have to be that way. I always thought mine was different until a few months ago but im really not going into detail about it. Id just like to know why it has to be like that. It seriously drives me nuts. This is not my situation but I don't understand how one parent can choose one child over the another, or how a grandparent can favor a grandson or granddaughter over the other...or an aunt or uncle can chose one niece or nephew over the other for that matter. Blood is blood. they should all be treated and loved the same. And id like to smack some sense into some people because it drives me completely insane. I love my little boy to the moon and back but ya know what if i ever have another one I will love that one just the same. I couldn't imagine it differently. Hell, Nevaeh isn't even my child and i love her like she is mine, and id do anything for her. That should say something shouldn't it?

And on to another subject. I've been completely bummed lately. My supervisor's last day is Monday and it bothers me. She has seriously become like my 2nd mom. I can talk to her about anything and she keeps me sane in the work place. And now shes leaving. I have learned a lot from her. I feel like my rock is being taken away and I know i am going to cry even though i don't want to. I'm happy shes getting out of here and that she is going to be able to take care of her grandson. I'm scared ill never see her. Its happened to me in the past when i get close to someone. My friend Mitchell for instance. When i left target i was promised that we would remain best friends. I haven't seen him in over a year. And that hurts. we used to hang out atleast once a week. I miss him. Also, my friend Jess. She got a job and left ABB and I was told that we'd remain friends. We did until we became roomates then i moved out to move on with my life. Now we don't speak. I guess i just wish i could get out of here too but i cant afford a pay cut. I love you mamma luke and I am going to miss you. Please dont disappear forever.

I guess I will be done venting. I just had to get that stuff out cuz its bumming me out/pissing me off. Comment if you wish. If not I get it. Im used to people not caring.

Until next time

~*Diddy*~