finally looking up

Well, Im glad to say things are slowly starting to work themselves out. With exception of the job hunt situation anyway. lol. but we will save that for another day.

Chris and Heidi are finally talking to me again! and I couldnt be more glad. We all hung out last night and went bowling and Id have to say it was one of the best times ive had in a long ass time. Alcohol was deffinately involved and we never got home till 5am. lol. but it was just so much fun and im glad things werent weird. I deffinately missed them and im looking forward to us all being able to hang out again. It was killing me not hanging out with them.

Today was the MS walk in hollidaysburg. I raised $75 dollars for it, so to everyone who dontated, THANK YOU! I raised enough that i got an MS Walk tshirt. So that is pretty cool. I was pretty proud of myself. I walked the entire 5 miles on 4 hours of sleep, and HUNGOVER! lol. i woke up this morning feeling the need to barf, instead i almost shit my pants. lol. and i had the biggest headache ever, but i sucked it up and walked. In the pouring rain none the less and as result im more than likely going to get sick. lol. but hell it was worth every second. it was so much fun. :)

I started going to the gym, and besides the fact that my stomach seems to be getting fat instead of flat cuz ive been eating non stop, i feel pretty good about my self now. Working out leaves me feeling accomplished and regenerized for some reason. so im hoping if i keep at it i can shed a few of the fat pounds and look good. :)

well im completely exhausted. so im gonna go wait for steve to call and tell me hes home ok, then its bedtime. Catch you all later.

until we meet again,
~*Diddy*~

Scream my lungs out try to get to you....

This is going to be a brief entry. And im not sure when i'll write again. Something big happened yesterday. A few people know, but I'm not going to lay it out for the public to know. All I know is its ripping me apart. Literally. Half my heart feels like its been ripped out of my chest and taken away. And no, steve and i didnt break up. But it feels that way. I cant even begin to put into words what I am feeling right now. I'm confused. Im hurt. Im angry. Im depressed. and that is just half of it. I hardly slept last night. and when I did drift to sleep I dreamed about it. I cant escape it. and frankly it upsets me. I wish I could just forget about it but I cant. I know alot of you are confused right now, but thats ok. This entry is more for me to vent about my feelings. And the people who know what happened will understand better. I dont know i guess im going to stop writing. I have things to do, even though all I feel like doing is sleeping my life away. You dont even know. I may not write for awhile, but just know i'll be back when the time is right.

till we meet again
~*Diddy*~

what a day

Well. I was pretty much in a funk for most of the day. I had a dr apt at 2:15. They are never fun. But I didnt get violated today which is a plus. After that I met Lyndsey and she suprised me by asking me if I would be her maid of honor in her wedding in Oct 2009! How awesome is that shit! So we went to David's Bridal and tried on dresses. She looked so cute! I'm excited for her. I really am. And I'm honored to be her Maid of Honor.

Then, I get home tonight and I read a blog that Mitch wrote. It's people like him that keep me going and I just want to give a big old virtual hug to him right now. (hes a germaphobe so I cant give him a real one)*HUGS!* Hes my best friend and I wouldnt change it for the world. You know, I really want to see that movie Made of Honor. Its about a girl and a guy that are best friends and she asks him to be her maid of honor LOL. It kind of reminds me of mitch and I, though in the movie hes inlove with the bride and tries to steal her from the groom. I dont see that happening in our situation. lol. but who knows I could be wrong. Mitch I think that may be a movie we need to sneak out and see together. What do you think? =)

Well, short entry but I thought id share the exciting events of today with everyone. I'm off to bed now to get my much needed beauty sleep for tomorrow. Class all day with my pals. Thanks for the kind words in ur blog mitch. it really made my day! And who knows...maybe a giant anaconda will eat midget and all your problems will be solved! *evil laugh*

Until we meet again
~*Diddy*~

no title for this one

I couldn't think of a title for this one. Much because I'm sort of in a funk when i write this tonite. I just feel the need for some venting time. So here goes.

I miss my friend(well ex friend) Chris. He recently stopped talking to me cuz his ex girlfriend that hes trying to get back together with hates me. She blames me for them breaking up for whatever reason. And it bothers me. Chris and I were tight. We always hung out and we always had a blast. But aparently im a slut and can't be trusted around him so she wont allow him to see me. And to top it off i recently found out they got back together. So i guess i can lose his number cuz i wont be seeing him anymore. Aparently many people think im a slut? Another friend for instance wont let me chill with my best friend because they somehow think im going to steal him or something. I dont know its all dum. I dont see how im a big slut when Ive been with one guy my whole life and Im inlove with him. I couldnt even dream of cheating on him. I dont even know anymore. The whole thing just depresses me.

So, Random moment, I ate an entire bag of popcorn by myself after work today. It was fantastic. MmM the buttery essence just melts in your mouth. And the result of it, I feel like ass. Ate way to much for my lil belly. Oh but i could totally go for another bag! lol.

Ive come to realize i need to start budgeting my money again. I was doing so good. I had alot saved up in my checking account. And then I started splurging way to much. iPod for one. ok thats not too bad rite. I used my tax money from last year. Wii. Big mistake. I mean its fun but im still paying of my credit card as a result of it. lol. Guitar Hero III. Love it...spend almost 90 dollars on it....and I shouldnt have. And the big kahuna of impulse buys...rock band. super game..but didnt have the money. and it takes up so much space! lol. So in result I have like 200 bucks in the bank and soon im going to be getting student loans. so from now on..NO MORE IMPULSE BUYING! unless daughtry comes to town of course! lol. I put my tax money from this year in savings so i cant spend it...unless i decide to get the camera ive been wanting..but ive been planing this for a few weeks now and i have someone lined up to buy my old one. so we'll see. any suggestions?

Well, that was enough boring randomness for the day. Catch you all soon. If anyone reads. I dont get any feedback.

Until next time,
~*Diddy*~

Destination Unknown...

Well, here it is, March 30. Just a little less than 2 months till I graduate. And you know what? I have no idea where Im going in life. Hense the title of this entry, Destination Unknown. Thats exactly how I feel at this moment. Im so confused right now. I am broke. I need more money. I could use a second job, but I dont have the time for one. My hours at Target dont allow me any free time as it is, but they arent going to pay for a more reliable car either. Maybe when classes are finished I will be work aholic. i'll work a job in the mornings and target in the evenings. That is until I find something in my field of work, if I can find one that is. What happens if i dont like webdesign when i get out there? Then i wasted pretty much 2 years of my life and all that money for nothing. I'll be dirt poor living on the streets. Im not moving far away. Ive already decided that. If i was going to move far away I would go onward with school and go to ECU, My dream school that I was too stupid to get into in the first place. I could easily get in there now, with my honors grades. I guess I showed them. haha. Too bad thats not going to happen. Im not leaving steve. Especially now when he needs me the most. Which brings me to my next randomness about my life.



Steve's dad isnt doing very well. He was diagnosed with cancer in the summer and they gave him 6 months. God love the man hes fighting with all his might, but its starting to take hold on him. Steve's sitting up all night every night with him and barely getting any sleep. Not only is he stressed, but seeing him upset is killing me. I dont even know what to do with myself anymore. I have trouble sleeping, and im not eating. Im going to wither away to nothing here soon. But thats enough of that.



Easter sucked. The easter bunny forgot lil ol' me this year. I guess i was a bad girl. I didnt even get as much as a card. From ANYONE! :(



On a lighter note...Who thinks Chris Daughtry should stop touring and make a new album? I'll be the first one to raise my hand and jump up and down. I mean, dont get me wrong I love seeing him live and would love more chances, but how about makin some more music. hes going to start losing his fans if he doesnt. They are going to get bored. I mean I wont stop loving him. Im addicted to that voice of his. But im just looking out for his well being. He needs to make more music!



Well, Im off to send out more resumes. Wish me luck. And if you have any ideas of where I can send one, throw them my way. Please?



Catch you all on the flip side.

~*Diddy*~

Guess Whos Back? Back again?

Diddy's Back. Tell a friend.

lol dont ask where that came from. Sounded good though didnt it? haha. So, since my last entry, steve and I shared our 2 year anniversary together. 2 years into forever about sums it up. Hes amazing, and I'm glad I can call him mine. Ya kno, I can remember the first day I met him. I went Skating with Jesse and Alica. Of course I had never been skating in my life, and I fell on my ass. Numerous times. And steve was the one who skated over to help me up. Sweet huh? Like I said, hes amazing and I knew from that moment when he picked me up and brushed me off, that he was going to be mine forever.

The school semester is about half over. you know what that means right? Just 2 short months till I am out of that place! WOO!! So people help me find a job with benefits cuz im going to need something soon.

I've come to realize what awesome friends I have. Really. I dont know what I would do without them. For starters, Mitchell. I met him when I started work at the bullseye...at first I was intimidated by him, then he started talking to me around octoberish I believe. We just clicked. Its like we got eachother. now we're the best of friends. And thats awesome cuz I wouldnt have it any other way. I know i'll always be there for him and I hope he would do the same for me. Next is Lyndsey. My best friend since 7th grade. We started as rivals because she liked NSYNC and I liked the Backstreet Boys. But you know, that was one difference that brought us closer together. Lyndsey and i have been through some rough shit together but we've made it and I know we'll be friends till the end. And last but not least, Chris. I also met chris at the bullseye. and hes pretty much one of the coolest people I ever met. Also, one of the sweetest. He lets me cry on his shoulder when I need him and I thank him for that. I cant forget my college buddies too. You guys know who you are.

I really wish I was better at this whole blogging thing. Much like Mitchell. But unfortunately instead of entertaining I tend to bore the living shit out of people. I dont know how he does it but You should look at his blog. he rocks...HARDCORE! :)

well, im off to bed after an amazing night with steven. Ronnie keep your chin up. i love ya! catch you all at a later date!

until we meet again,
hold on to those dear to you

~*Diddy*~

Finally!

Sorry its been so long. Ive been busy as shit with school and work. Its kinda stressing actually. But im getting by just fine.

Not a whole lot has been going on. Maybe thats another reason I haven't written. I dont like to bore people with my writings, which im pretty sure I do anyway. lol.

Valentines Day has come and gone. I had classes all day. Till 9pm in fact. So that kinda sucked. But steve came over after I got done and we went bowling with Chris and Samantha. That was really fun. I love bowling, but I seem to really suck at it lately. Like im talking im lucky to break 50. lmao. Anyway, afterward we all went to Denny's. I enjoy spending time with them. Steve got me the giant white bear from target that Ive been wanting since last year. Hes cute. I think i shall name him Valentine :)

Our 2 year anniversary is monday. Plans are to hang out all day. He will go to my one evening class with me then we will go to the Olive Garden. those are the plans. we will see if things go smoothly. Things always go wrong for us on the 25th. its like some awful curse. lol.

Im graduating in just about 2 months...and the thought sort of scares me. I will lose my insurance and have to get out and try to find either a second job, or a real job. Cuz quite frankly one cant live on target salary, unless you are like an executive or something. Which sort of sucks because no matter how much I bitch and Moan about work...i like it. Well, not the job itself but the atmosphere and the people there. I think i'll probably cry when I leave, and visit all the time. no doubt. Oh, if all goes well...I should be going away with work for a few days in June. I signed up for plan-o-rama. its where we go help set the planograms for the new store thats going up. Im kind of excited about it. The day goes fast when you're setting planograms.

well, now that ive bored everyone to tears, im off to brush my teeth and go pick up courtney so we can go to classes. Steve and I might be getting 2 older huskies today. hes going to look at them. I would absolutely die if we could. Anyway im outie.

until next time...

*~Kristin~*